Many of you know I had two miscarriages. It is part of my story (and the inspiration for Josie’s in A Promise Kept). My first happened the day before our anniversary — I’ll never forget the pain and questions that started then and continued … in some way until today. Then we had our third — after I almost lost …
God’s Great Gentleness
October 15th is miscarriage loss day. It always brings pain to the surface, a pain that isn’t too far removed from my days. I’ve had two miscarriages, two precious children I don’t know this side of heaven. Last year God gave me another slice of peace about the process, so today I wanted to share this so that it can …
Finding Beauty in Unexpected Places
Last weekend I went out to our patio and found a fun surprise sprouting and blooming in the very narrow sand lines between the bricks. Interspersed intermittently all along the bricks were these tiny, tenacious pansies. I’m not really sure where they came from, but as I pulled the weeds last night, I left these little beauties. Part of me wanted to …
When Mother’s Day Hurts, there is Hope
That’s where I lived. But I wrestled it to the ground with God. I had to know that when I was curled up in the closet with so much pain that I didn’t know what to do, that God was there. I had to believe that He would somehow use the pain for His good. He has.
If you’re in the midst of your own pain right now (so many of my friends and loved ones are walking such hard journeys right now), know that God is there. He never leaves. He never forsakes us. Jesus endured that, so we wouldn’t have to.
So if you can’t feel Him, look up. Look out. You will find Him. And He can put your broken heart back together again.
7 Years Ago…
Instead of walking out with a CD of images of our baby, I walked out knowing this was a child I would not meet this side of heaven.
Mother’s Day: Pain or Blessing?
With Mother’s Day later this week, I’m reminded of how painful Mother’s Day can be. It’s a holiday laced with immense pain for many . . . those who struggle to have children . . . those who had a bad relationship with their mother. Then there are those who have lost a child. Those who wait with longing for a …
Mourning turned into Dancing
Six years ago, I experienced my first miscarriage. Sometime about now that baby would have been born. If you know anything about my story, you know that was a deep valley in my soul. I still cry when I think of that time and that loss. My arms still feel empty at times. And I’ll catch myself looking at our …
Grief and Kids: a Hard Combination
Recently I learned of a 36 year-old mom in our neighborhood who died. Unexpectedly. Her family is emptied. Earlier this year I lost my grandpa and uncle in close, unexpected succession. One week a part. My 4 year old poked my grandpa’s cheek as she tried to understand how he could be there in the casket, but so utterly not …
Mother’s Day: Pain or Joy?
In the shadow of Mother’s Day, I’m reminded of how painful Mother’s Day can be. It’s a holiday laced with immense pain for many… those who struggle to have children… those who had a bad relationship with their mother. Then there are those who have lost a child. Those who wait with longing for a child they’ve been matched with …
Living with No Regrets
Since January 27, my grandfather and uncle died…exactly one week apart. It’s one reason I haven’t posted as consistently as usual. My grandma doesn’t have wifi on the farm, and it was important to spend time with her. One theme that kept ringing through as we (my parents, siblings, cousins, extended family) walked through this dark time was that we …