I was reminded this week of one of the nicknames I’ve acquired over time. It’s one that wears me out just typing it: Wonder Woman. I’ve been able to do a lot of wonderful things during my relatively short life. I’ve been blessed, but sometimes it’s exhausting trying to live up to people’s expectation that I am Wonder Woman.
I know the truth. I’m not. I’m just a woman who wants to live a life of wonder.
One where I live with:
a feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable.
Too often I’ve been focused on what others wanted or expected (I am an Enneagram 3, recovering people pleaser after all) to take the time to live like that.
It’s too hard living up to everyone’s expectations. Even harder living up to mine. You may have seen something like this:
For me, my 20s were about apologizing for who I was. Sorry, if you have the opportunities I had, you could’ve graduated from college at 20, too. You could have had a great job in Washington DC. I’m not special. I’m lucky. I vividly remember turning 25 and telling myself I didn’t have to keep pretending I belonged. I actually belonged in my job.
My 30s were about hustle and trying to be who I thought people wanted me to be. Trying to create a space for myself in a town I never imagined living in. Discovering what it meant to parent two, three, and then four kids spread over ten years while homeschooling and getting them to all the activities. Proving I was a good attorney. Working insane hours writing a crazy number of books a year to prove I could write. Working my way into a teaching position at a world-class university. It was all worthwhile, but exhausting. Barely in balance, more often right on the edge of chaos, but at every turn I was told I was amazing. I knew the truth though.
My 40s have been about settling into who I am without apology. A combination of grace and kindness extended to myself for the first time. And settling into who I am, so I can extend that without strings to other people.
I can almost guarantee that every wonder woman you admire inside feels like she’s not all together. That she’s so far from Wonder Woman it’s laughable. But we keep showing up, and that is a wonder.
And lest you think she’s not my favorite woman superhero, here’s the trailer to the new movie. I cannot wait to see it. I may have watched this trailer a dozen times in the last couple days. (And I think editing the trailer would have been so much fun!) The music is a blast. I’m done gushing, and can’t wait to see it when it releases in June. What movie are you excited about?
I was reminded this week of one of the nicknames I’ve acquired over time. It’s one that wears me out just typing it: Wonder Woman. I’ve been able to do a lot of wonderful things during my relatively short life. I’ve been blessed, but sometimes it’s exhausting trying to live up to people’s expectation that I am Wonder Woman.
I know the truth. I’m not. I’m just a woman who wants to live a life of wonder.
One where I live with:
For me, my 20s were about apologizing for who I was. Sorry, if you have the opportunities I had, you could’ve graduated from college at 20, too. You could have had a great job in Washington DC. I’m not special. I’m lucky. I vividly remember turning 25 and telling myself I didn’t have to keep pretending I belonged. I actually belonged in my job.
My 30s were about hustle and trying to be who I thought people wanted me to be. Trying to create a space for myself in a town I never imagined living in. Discovering what it meant to parent two, three, and then four kids spread over ten years while homeschooling and getting them to all the activities. Proving I was a good attorney. Working insane hours writing a crazy number of books a year to prove I could write. Working my way into a teaching position at a world-class university. It was all worthwhile, but exhausting. Barely in balance, more often right on the edge of chaos, but at every turn I was told I was amazing. I knew the truth though.
My 40s have been about settling into who I am without apology. A combination of grace and kindness extended to myself for the first time. And settling into who I am, so I can extend that without strings to other people.
I can almost guarantee that every wonder woman you admire inside feels like she’s not all together. That she’s so far from Wonder Woman it’s laughable. But we keep showing up, and that is a wonder.
And lest you think she’s not my favorite woman superhero, here’s the trailer to the new movie. I cannot wait to see it. I may have watched this trailer a dozen times in the last couple days. (And I think editing the trailer would have been so much fun!) The music is a blast. I’m done gushing, and can’t wait to see it when it releases in June. What movie are you excited about?