This year has been an interesting year, one that has taken twists and turns I did not anticipate when the year started. When I first got my word of the year in late December, I’ll admit I had not idea what it meant or why it was my word. In fact it struck me as an incredibly strange choice.

Now I’m practically begging God for a new word.

• He knew at the beginning of the year that a month later we would be asked for my husband to consider taking a staff pastor role at our church. Say what?
• He knew that in late March early April we would be considering enrolling our 13 year-old full time in one of the local high schools for an early college program. Say what?
• He knew that our 16 year-old would have the opportunity to fulfill a dream several years in the making and participate a six-week immersion program in France with essentially no communication back home. Say what?
• He knew this would be the year I got rights back to some of my early books and embarked on the steep learning curve to republish them on my own. Say what?
• He knew I would write a lot of books and lose my writing partner for some of them. Much sadness and say what?

Are you sensing a pattern? Each of these required me to release control. Some times I have done it better than others. Just ask my husband. Our world has rocked with a series of good things, but I’ll be honest. It has been an extremely painful process in other ways. Each has been an opportunity for me to push into Christ or try to manage it on my own. This is so much chaos, I can’t manage it.

So I have to release. When I don’t, the pressure is immense.

Jesus is slowly (and quickly) reminding me that He sees all of this, and He saw it coming long before I did. He is faithful, but I get to choose my response. Do I release my hold? Or do I clutch tightly to what I want, risking an ulcer in the process? It’s my choice, even when it doesn’t feel like a choice.

So here’s where I am nine months into the year. What has God shown you through your word?